Author Archives: GreenHouse17 Staff

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By Sherry Huff Culp, Nursing Home Ombudsman Agency of the Bluegrass

Have you ever considered what it must be like to be a survivor of domestic violence, aging, disabled, and living in a nursing home? 

In Kentucky  there are over 34,000 residents living in licensed long-term care (LTC) facilities.  The majority of these residents are impoverished older women with two or more disabilities. Some have experienced domestic violence their entire lives while others may have only experienced it since becoming dependent upon caregivers.

A significant portion of elder abuse cases reported in the United States involve partner violence.

The aggressors include spouses and former spouses, partners, adult children, extended family, and in some cases caregivers. Often abusers threaten survivors with nursing home placement if they tell anyone about the abuse.  Some abusers use their role and power to financially exploit their victims. Others feel that they are entitled to get their way because they are the “head of the household,” or because they are younger and physically stronger than their victim is.

Older women are likelier than younger women to experience violence for a longer time, to be in current violent relationships, and to have health and mental health problems, but no one seems really prepared to address the needs of a survivor once they move into a nursing facility.

So often new admissions are asked to quickly conform to the institution’s daily flow. Some residents never have an opportunity to express their needs and wishes.  One of the roles of the Long-Term Care Ombudsman is to visit with residents and learn more about who they are and what they need from their caregivers.

We work very hard to develop relationships with residents and teach them about their rights. One issue that consistently arises while we advocate to improve care and resolve problems is short or insufficient staffing in these institutions. In Kentucky there are no staffing ratios like we have in child care settings.

When there are not enough staff working in nursing homes the needs of residents are neglected, and it increases the likelihood that domestic violence can begin or continue.

Isolation and vulnerability are two of the scariest things about aging, but we can help reduce these fears and protect each other if we demand more caregivers by the bedside, better training for workers, and more person centered care.

This post is part of our 17 Voices campaign during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. 

Sherry Huff Culp is the Kentucky State Long Term Care Ombudsman. October is also Residents’ Rights Month. Learn more about the Nursing Home Ombudsman Agency of the Bluegrass at this link: www.ombuddy.org. 

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By Michael Stamper

Very recently I was given the opportunity via an open letter to possibly raise awareness concerning the immeasurably important issue of domestic violence. I am writing this article on behalf of the partners and spouses of advocates who work at GreenHouse17.

As the husband of a domestic violence crisis counselor for nearly a decade, I can’t begin to describe just how little I actually knew about the many facets and faces of all that encompasses this issue. I have on occasion listened to my wife at the end of a very trying day come home drained, angry, and heartbroken by the struggles and pitfalls and, yes, the success stories of these individuals whom she truly loves.

I have felt the anger with her, and even cried beside her, and for that I myself am a better man.

I have personally met many of her co-workers, and even in short conversations, their compassion and dedication to their mission is instantly recognizable. As a father of an incredibly beautiful, bright, and  somewhat spoiled six year old little girl, I want her to always feel loved, and important, and beautiful, but most of all I want her to always feel safe.

This letter is not intended to try to convince any of us to all think exactly the same or even agree on every issue.  It is to ask each one of us as both individuals, as well as parents, to give loving and heartfelt diligence to these issues and work to become more aware of the signs, types, as well as the physical and emotional scars, that are often left as a result of domestic violence.

Together we can stand up and speak out and truly make a difference.

Sincerely,

Michael, Billy,  Jacob, David, Adam, Pete, Indigo, Ralph, Nathan, Miguel,
Dallas, John, Lenzi, Kevin, Mike, and Matt

This post is part of our 17 Voices campaign during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

By Carol Taylor-Shim
Chair, GreenHouse17 Board of Directors

Dear Sister,

I’m writing to you because I love you and know you are in pain. I know you are hurting. I know you are unsafe, confused, and feeling alone.  I know the secrets you keep. You see, I know that as women of color we are not seen as survivors.

We are not seen as being in need of services and advocacy that are tied directly to our marginalized identities. I know the burden you feel of not wanting to get another brother in trouble.  I know some of you don’t and won’t see yourselves as survivors.  And that’s ok, I get it.  You are fighters, because you have to be to survive.  I understand.

I just want you to know that I see you.

And in those moments when you cannot speak for yourself, it is the responsibility of those of us working to end all forms on interpersonal violence, including dating/domestic violence, to do that for you.

To acknowledge that women of color are exposed to domestic violence at higher rates.  To acknowledge that any shelter or service provider has to be fully committed to working through a lens of cultural proficiency.  To acknowledge that there are additional dynamics that you must navigate that other survivors who are not marginalized by their identities don’t have to.  That’s what we have to do for you.

Please know this my beautiful sister, I see you and I believe you.

Follow Carol on Twitter @ctshim71. This post is part of our 17 Voices campaign during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Featured image labeled for re-use with a Creative Commons license from Women of Color in Tech. 

By Stephanie Theakston
LFUCG Domestic Violence Prevention Coordinator

It takes a community to keep survivors safe. In our current response to domestic violence, we are often ready with a laundry list of actions a survivor should take to be safe. “Leave. Get a protective order. Don’t let the abuser back in the house. Don’t allow the children to be exposed to any more violence.”

But the reality of domestic violence is that taking steps toward safety often results in abusers escalating violent behavior to regain control of survivors. Because taking steps to be safe may actually put survivors at greater risk, it is up to us – the community – to ensure safety.

As Nelson Mandela once wisely said, “Safety and security don’t just happen; they are the result of collective consensus and public investment.”

This idea that safety can only be achieved through intentional collaboration is the very premise of the Domestic Violence Prevention Board (DVPB), Fayette County’s local coordinating council to address domestic violence.

Domestic violence is a complex issue that cannot be solved by any one person or system alone. This is why the DVPB brings together service providers, criminal justice workers, law enforcement, child welfare workers, community members, and others think about solutions to survivor safety and accountability for abusers.

We challenge and support each other in our work and strive to make the collective response to domestic violence more effective. It is within our power to stop domestic violence. But doing so will take all of us working together.

This post is part of our 17 Voices campaign during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Follow the Domestic Violence Prevention Board on Facebook and Twitter.

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One voice can change everything.

Candy Lightner’s voice changed drunk driving laws. Lilly Ledbetter’s voice protected women in the workplace. Ryan White’s voice changed our understanding of HIV/AIDS. Todd Beamer’s voice coordinated passengers to thwart an airstrike on the Pentagaon.

And your voice can help end domestic violence in families and our community.

Begin the conversation during October, National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, by changing your profile pics on social media to show your support for survivors and commitment to change.

We’ve provided several options for you. A few of the options also include pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so you can show your support for survivors of both.

Directions: Right click/long tap on the image you prefer, and then “save as” to your computer or mobile device. Log on to your favorite social media, and click/long tap on the option to change your image. Then browse your computer or mobile device files for the image you saved.

This post is part of our 17 Voices campaign during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

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[sgmb id=”1″]The Lexington Domestic Violence Prevention Board has planned a month of amazing events during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please make plans to participate in one or many. Your participation sends a powerful message. It says we are a community intolerant of domestic violence. And reminds survivors we care about their well-being.

ALL MONTH, 17 VOICES CAMPAIGN
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram
Look to the GreenHouse17 social media pages to like and share articles written by community members dedicated to ending domestic violence in our community.

ALL MONTH, BANNERS ON VINE
Look for Domestic Violence Awareness Month banners along Vine Street. Post your photos of the banners on social media with the #LexStopDV hashtag.

SAT 10/1, SHOP & SHARE
Any Kroger in Central Kentucky, 9 a.m.—5 p.m.
Shop at Kroger and purchase listed groceries and supplies for the GreenHouse17 emergency shelter.

TUE 10/4, AWARENESS DONUT
North Lime Coffee & Donuts, 575 N Limestone, 6 a.m.—5 p.m.
Bring your friends to enjoy a purple donut and spread awareness!

FRI 10/7, NIGHT MARKET
700 Block of Bryan Ave., 6 p.m.—10 p.m.
The Domestic Violence Prevention Board will have a table at the Night Market. Stop by for some resources and say hi!

SAT 10/8, YOGA FOR A CAUSE
West 6th Brewery, 501 W 6th St., 11 a.m., $5
Join the splendid Meredith Swim for a fun yoga flow to benefit The Nest—Center for Women and Children. All levels welcome.

THU 10/13, PROCLAMATION BY MAYOR GRAY
City Council Chamber, 200 E Main St., 6 p.m.
Come hear Mayor Gray’s public proclamation recognizing Domestic Violence Awareness Month presented before the City Council.

FRI 10/14, DOCUMENTARY: IT HAPPENED HERE
Memorial Hall, 610 S Limestone St, 7 p.m.
Watch this powerful documentary about sexual assault on campus and institutional cover-up. Hosted by UK’s Late Night Film Series.

THU 10/20, WEAR PURPLE DAY
Put on purple to raise awareness and show your support for those affected by domestic violence. Ask your friends to do the same. Take a pic of your purple with hashtag #LexStopDV.

FRI 10/21, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EMPOWERMENT
2350 Woodhill Dr., 6 p.m.—9 p.m.
Learn and be inspired! Hear great speakers and learn how you can help prevent domestic violence. Hosted by Sisters Road to Freedom, Inc.

THU 10/27, CANDIDATES’ FORUM
Kentucky Theater, 214 E Main St., 3 p.m.—4:30 p.m.
Hear candidates’ responses to questions focused on domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, and more. Hosted by Jack Pattie.

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[sgmb id=”1″]Why do we farm the land that surrounds our emergency shelter? This collection of Field Notes written by survivors of intimate partner abuse who are participating in our farm stipend program explains:

My first week working in the garden was hard for me on the first day, but today it was better and I realized it was relaxing in a way. Learning about different flowers is more interesting than I thought it would be, and being out there reminds me of being a kid on my grandparent’s farm. That was one of the best times of my childhood, being out there with my sister exploring and spending our days at the creek catching frogs and turtles. It was all before things in my life became complicated. So being out there brings back good memories which make it very relaxing and peaceful to me, and I’m really starting to enjoy myself. Making new friend and getting outside my comfort zone. It was a good experience all around and I look forward to returning. ~J.K.

I enjoy working in the garden; it’s a healing feeling and a learning experience. I like the people I work with, they are great. The flowers are pretty as light and the vegetables are very bright. It takes bad memories out of my mind and leaves all negative things behind the breeze. I know that I’m helping for a good reason that makes me feel better as well. ~M.S

“It takes bad memories out of my mind and leaves all negative things behind the breeze.”

Yesterday I tried something I have never done before, which was working on the farm. At first, I was nervous because it was something totally new. Everybody else had experience being on a farm. I felt like an outcast at first. The first day I worked for 3 hours and I had learned how to pick different flowers, for bouquets for wedding and other events… Well today, which is Tuesday, I learned how to pick vegetables, which were cucumbers and green beans. I also learned that there are purple green beans, and when you cook them they turn green. I also learned that items  we use and throw away are used as compost for the plants. The best part about today was weeding. Pulling up all the weeds that weren’t needed. It helped me get out some anger. I learned over all don’t knock a new experience until you try it. ~J.G

My experience on the farm was better than I thought it would be. I really learned a lot. Christina and Jessica were very welcoming. It reminded me a lot of the time I spent with my Grandma as a child in her garden. Its hard work and I feel it in my back, but honestly, I have enjoyed my time up on the farm and I look forward to coming back. ~K.S

Learn more about our integration of farm-based programming with traditional services for survivors at this link.

Survivors provided permission for these Field Notes to be shared.

[sgmb id=”1″]Get some friends and family together for a day of flower picking fun!

U-Pick Day on the Farm
Saturday, August 20
10 am – 1 pm

More than a dozen varieties of flowers available. Only $10 for a medium bucket provided at the event, or $20 if you prefer to bring your own larger “home improvement” bucket.

We’ll have clippers for you. Wear comfortable clothing and shoes that can get dirty.

All ages, family-friendly, rain or shine.

Cash, check,and credit accepted at the event. Every bucket picked nurtures lives harmed by intimate partner abuse.

Members of our Weekly Flower CSA and their friends receive a 25% discount.

Learn more and get driving directions to our farm at the event page on Facebook.