tania and her two girls standing in front of a tree making hearts with their hands21 Years

Tania’s Story

September 26, 2024By

“We believe this is the only person that is going to save us when they are the person that is ruining us.”

I realized that’s why I got targeted, because they look for people that are merciless to themselves. The strong woman that I am would never have allowed that to happen.

But it’s not about strength. It’s not about knowledge. It’s not about being intelligent or unintelligent.

This person strips everything from you. It does not happen overnight. It is a process. By the time they get you to your most vulnerable, you are alone, because they’ve made sure of that.

Even if you want help, even if you have people in your life, you don’t know how to articulate to these people that you need help. You’re worried about this person hurting your family, hurting people that you care about.

I made a choice to get out. It doesn’t matter when you make that choice. It doesn’t matter why you make that choice. Whatever gets you out of that situation. That’s all that matters.

There were times in the shelter I was a hot mess, but you all saw more in me. That’s what you need. You need people around you that see something great. It was me saying I was worthy of that.

I want my daughters to see that there is better in life, and they don’t have to go down my path. They can go a different way because they are worthy.

That’s why I call them my princesses because I want them to know that they are royalty. It doesn’t matter where they grow up or if we have a lot of money. Your heart and your mind are what matters.

This is only part of Tania’s story, in her own words, shared with permission.

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chelsea standing in front of shelter doorsBlog

Chelsea’s Story

July 11, 2024By

“My life and stability were up in the air.”

“I was scared and trying to leave this relationship, trying to get my ducks in a row.”

A childhood friend recommended she reach out to ask for our support. Chelsea was pregnant when she and her two-year-old arrived at the emergency shelter.

“I would spend hours walking back and forth on the front porch with him in the stroller. I couldn’t get him to sleep and didn’t want to disturb anyone else.”

Those first few weeks living at the shelter weren’t easy. “I was hyper-focusing and overthinking everything. It was really hard on me, being pregnant. My life and stability were up in the air.”

She stayed busy on purpose. “I was meeting with my advocates, doing therapy, or doing groups. We would talk about boundaries and red flags, green flags, even yellow flags.”

During one group activity, Chelsea remembers writing a note to her younger self and a note to the abuser to burn in the fire pit.

“We talked about boundaries and coping techniques. I always did the mommy and me groups. We did pottery and yoga under the pavilion.”

Although put on bed rest during the final weeks of her pregnancy, Chelsea was able to move into a transitional apartment with her son before the baby was born.

“I was in a different elementary school each grade of the year, so stability was always a real big thing for me. When I had kids, I knew that I needed stability because I never had it.”

When asked what she would tell someone coming into shelter, Chelsea said, “You’re here to heal. If you come with that mindset, you’re going to feel like a totally different person. But remember not everybody is going to understand what you went through, so not everybody deserves your story.”

This is only part of Chelsea’s story, in her own words, shared with permission.

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Shannon standing in hoop houseBlog

Shannon’s Story

March 22, 2024By

“This was someone I let into my heart, my home, and around my son.”

I met this guy who seemed like a southern gentleman, and he made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. It truly seemed like a dream come true.

Until it all changed in the blink of an eye. One night, he was going through my messages on my phone without my consent.

When I asked what he was doing and why, his demeanor and tone changed. He turned into a completely different person.

He gets in my face and says, ‘You need to delete all social media right now. You’re not allowed to talk to anybody.’

I was in shock. I wasn’t sure how to respond and said, ‘You need to pack your stuff and leave.’ I wanted to defuse the situation before it got any worse.

Over the next couple of days, we talked on and off. One moment the conversation would be, ‘I’m so sorry, I’ll change,’ and the next he would say, ‘You’re a whore, you’re a slut.”

It only got worse from there. It started with a property complaint, and two officers showed up.

I got a restraining order. That made him even more mad. He told me to watch out because he had connections that would come after me.

He was also texting my family members and reaching out to my friends on Facebook, saying none of this was his fault. He placed all the blame on me.

He got ahold of my child’s father. They collaborated to file an emergency protective removal order, trying to take my son away from me.

We had to go to court multiple times, and everything got dismissed. The judge ordered my abuser to get help and mandated he take classes.

I still can’t say I feel safe, but it does get better. My chapter ends with my advocates staying by my side and guiding me through all of this.

I hope that my story will help just one person. What scares me the most is the unknown and the thought of this happening to somebody else.

I want to share my story. The more we talk about our experiences and share our stories, the more we get to spread awareness.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out before it’s too late.

This is only part of Shannon’s story, in her own words, shared with permission.

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