Stories

Stories help us to process our experiences, sympathize with the experiences of others, and make connections with friends and family. We maintain a list of popular books, songs and films about intimate partner abuse (you can find it here), but today we’re featuring one survivor’s story. In her own words. This post is part of our 17 Days/17 Ways campaign to take a stand against intimate partner abuse.

Hearts Like Mine
By Stephanie March

Nearly four years ago I called the police on my partner. He openly shared with them what he had been doing to me, to the family pet, and to other women in the area and this led to his arrest. With very little time to pack, I was taken to a safe house where I stayed for the next several months.

The shelter provided me with food and clothes that came by way of donations. More importantly, they provided safety, a bed to sleep in, and social workers to talk to during that incredibly difficult time. They went with me to court and helped me plan my next steps once my partner was released from jail.

I stayed at several safe houses as I made my way to what is now my home. It was difficult but I am so grateful that these places exist. Without their existence I might not be able to write this to you today.

Following my departure from safe houses and entering back into the real world I dealt with a lot of cyberstalking at the hands of my ex and his family. Many victims of intimate partner violence find themselves being stalked by their partners once they leave. A study done by Norwich University’s Peter R. Stephenson breaks down the different personality sub-types of the typical cyberstalking criminal victims are faced with online.

This cyberstalking activity went on for a couple of years and my frustration with the justice system began to grow. I recorded every incident, contacted police, and obtained a new Protection Order. I wrote to Governors and Senators. I signed petitions. Anything that might help promote an environment of change in the laws surrounding intimate partner violence.

Despite setbacks, I have focused on healing and taking the time I needed to grieve the end of that relationship and my life as I formerly knew it. I write about my experiences to reach out to others and give them hope.

A better life after leaving does exist, it just takes time and hard work to get there.

Social workers, advocates, and regular people like you can make an impact on social change by continuing to spread awareness and break the silence. Donating time, money, and belongings needed by shelters makes a huge difference in the outcomes of lives like mine. Many shelters have wish lists of badly needed items available on their websites. The smallest act of giving can change a traumatized person’s entire week.

Thank you for giving and for caring about hearts like mine.

Stephanie is a writer, survivor, and advocate. You can find her on Twitter or read more at her blog.

By Anonymous

I am an abused woman.  I was brought to the  shelter by my cousin.  I had severe  pain in  my neck and back,  due to a  blow  in my mid-back region.  I also had pneumonia  and was chronically exhausted.

The shelter has helped me.  I have a place to live.  I am safe from harm.  I have a phone and use of a computer to help assist me with employment and housing when the time comes.

I got a chance to work on the shelter’s stipend program.  I worked in the garden and hoop houses for money.  It meant I had a chance to improve my physical fitness.  I also had some money.  I got to relax and enjoy nature.

It gave me a sense of accomplishment.

Another good thing about the shelter is the learning experiences.  I take a journaling class.  It brought back my love of creative writing.  I’ve learned how to make homemade soup and lip balm.  I discovered I have some skill at flower arranging.

Here at the shelter, compliments and “thank yous” are heard frequently.  I enjoyed taking time with my appearance again. I have realized that abuse tends to kill creativity.  It also leads to apathy as far as my appearance.

Thanks to the shelter, I have rediscovered my love of arts and crafts, reading, and writing.  I am seeking work and look forward to accepting the best offer.

This post is part of our Survivor Stories series.

This post was written by a resident at GreenHouse17:

I have been fleeing a domestic violence situation for 13 months now. I left everything I and my kids owned, including our vehicle. He threatened to kill us and himself to solve his problems. I was terrified because he had already assaulted me numerous times and has even served time in prison for these assaults.

You see at that point I didn’t really care about myself. We had nowhere to go.

Once we left we stayed with a couple of friends then finally the domestic violence shelter. He continued to call and harass me and threaten me.

After several other unfortunate encounters with him, I was advised to leave again.   After quite a journey, I am at GreenHouse17 now with one of my children.

I did not like the abuse ever. I was in a constant state of fear and anxiety never knowing what would happen. I did not know where to go or how to get help.

I was so fortunate to find GreenHouse17 they have helped me and my son get the therapy we both desperately need, as well as food, shelter, and basic needs. I thank God every day for GreenHouse17. They have saved our lives.