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On average, three women are killed by an intimate partner every day in our nation. Each year the Kentucky Coalition Against Domestic Violence (KCADV) compiles a list of Kentucky victims who were murdered by their intimate partner.

This year 21 names were added to the list.

Each of these victims was someone’s daughter, mother, friend or colleague. We honor their memory by providing safety and healing services for survivors, and we commit to ending intimate partner abuse in their honor.

Maybe you just read these names quietly to yourself today. Maybe you speak them from a podium during a meeting or faith service this week. We just ask that you speak their names.

• Cynthia Beasley, 60, Jefferson County
• Elizabeth Blevins, 85, Fayette County
• Ellen Cain, 42, Meade County
• Brystal Chambers, 21, Henderson County
• Nancy Coomer, 84, Muhlenberg County
• Erin Cully, 26, Kenton County
• Nicole Hiles, 35, Grant County
• Christina Joslin, 43, Jefferson County
• Lorine LaBombard, 37, Barren County
• Goldia Massey, 50, Fayette County
• Karyn Meeks, 39, Taylor County
• Porcia Mills, 24, Jefferson County
• Amy Ndao, 38, Jefferson County
• Tracy Owen, 19, Logan County
• Crystal Parker, 25, Jefferson County
• Shannon Puryear, 37, Jefferson County
• Lisa Roach, 38, Christian County
• Shalayna Skaggs, 32, Larue County
• Kim Thomas, 34, Graves County
• Melissa Vaughn Green, 33, Logan County
• Monica Wells, 34, Pulaski County

This list has been compiled from public media sources and represent victims killed by intimate partners and/or cases charged against an intimate partner from October 1, 2013 to December 31, 2014. Learn more about ZeroV’s Speak My Name project here.

This post is part of our 17 Days/17 Ways campaign to take a stand against intimate partner abuse.

Have you visited our Etsy Shop? Our shop sells self-care products that are Handmade by Survivors. Every product is natural, nourishing and made on the farm that surrounds our emergency shelter.

Making products such as lip balms, salves, and soaps has a special connection to our mission. The process provides work-based healing and small-business experience for survivors, while generating funding for our services.

“The farm has given us a sense of purpose and provides a loving family atmosphere that most of us lack and genuinely need.”

This unique approach to survivor services has received the national Mary Byron Project Celebrating Solutions Award, Kentucky Nonprofit Network Innovative Nonprofit Award, Center for Nonprofit Excellence Pyramid Award for Social Innovation, and the Kentucky Housing Corporation Innovation Award.

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We believe handmade is healing, and we believe in making quality products. Here are some comments from customers:

• “Love the scents and the way the products leave my skin.”
• “Great products! I couldn’t have been happier with my purchase.”
• “Smells awesome and makes my skin and lips super soft!”
• “Lip balm and body balm are wonderful on winter dried skin!”
• “This soap is wonderful. Leaves the skin feeling soft and clean. Would purchase again.”

Right now our Salve-ation Herbal Formula Body Balm is on sale for half off. And as  a special thank you for your support of survivors, we are offering a 17% discount on purchases made from our Etsy shop through Saturday, October 17 at 11:59 p.m. Just enter the coupon code 17WAYS when you check out.

This post is part of our 17 Days/17 Ways campaign to take a stand against intimate partner abuse.

Futures Without Violence reports 15.5 million children in the United States have been exposed to intimate partner violence at least once in the past year. Children know the abuse is happening. They overhear the arguing and see the bruises.

It was my fault.

 

I am unlovable and unworthy of love.

 

I should have been able to stop it.

On any given day, about half of the residents at our emergency shelter are children. Some studies suggest that 40-60% of children who live in homes where violence occurs are being physically and/or emotionally abused, too.

Trigger alert – This video contains chilling audio of a 911 call.

Trailer for The Children Next Door from CDV Association.

Although every child responds differently to the violence, research finds common age-specific responses. These effects are compounded by the duration and severity of the abuse.

Pregnant women who are abused are at higher risk of miscarriage.

Infants may experience developmental delays, excessive separation anxiety, sleep disturbances, disruptions in feeding schedule, and failure to thrive.

School-age children often exhibit depression, anxiety, and sometimes aggression alongside physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, bed-wetting, and sleep disturbances.

For many teens, poor academic performance or the need to achieve perfect academic performance is common, as well feelings of responsibility for their siblings or abused parent. Drug and alcohol abuse and running away from home often occur.

Children deserve a safe home and a life free of violence.

Age-appropriate safety plans can protect children from harm. And the support of trusted adults is key. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network has compiled easy-to-use resources for parents, teachers, and service providers. You can download the pdf at this link. These words matter:

I believe you.

 

It’s not your fault.

 

Anger and frustration are OK, but violence is not.

 

Feeling angry at your parents doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

Call our hotline if you are worried about a child exposed to intimate partner violence. Our counselors are available 24-hours a day, every day of the year to safety plan and provide resources: 800-544-2022.

This post is part of our 17 Days/17 Ways campaign to take a stand against intimate partner abuse.

It’s easy to get caught up our busy lives and forget to examine our own behaviors. Pausing to reflect on our communication and relationships from time to time is healthy. Self-examination helps us to identify areas for improvement and act with integrity.

Is your behavior in family relationships, at the workplace, and in friendships should free from emotional, verbal, and physical aggression? Honestly ask yourself if you occasionally exhibit these behaviors:

• Embarrass or make fun of your partner in front of your friends or family?
• Minimize your partner’s accomplishments or goals?
• Manipulate your partner to make the decision you want them to make?
• Call, text, or email your partner several times a day to check up rather than check in?
• Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things to your partner?
• Blame your partner for how you feel or act?
• Prevent your partner from spending time with family or friends?

Healthy relationships take time and energy. Leading a violence-free life requires discipline. And often requires us to recognize unhealthy learned behaviors. The only way to have a healthy relationship is to work at it, and working at it takes practice.

This post is part of our 17 Days/17 Ways campaign to take a stand against intimate partner abuse.

Candy Lightner’s voice changed drunk driving laws.

Lilly Ledbetter’s voice protected women in the workplace.

Todd Beamer’s voice coordinated passengers to thwart a terrorist airstrike on the Pentagaon.

Ryan White’s voice changed our understanding of HIV/AIDS.

If one voice can shift national and international history, then your voice really matters right here in the central Kentucky community. What would happen if every person in your neighborhood took a stand against intimate partner abuse? What if every central Kentucky resident supported survivors?

Imagine if each and every one of us believed that our voice matters and…

• Changed our profile pics and shared information about intimate partner abuse on social media.
• Attended events to support survivors and violence prevention in our community.
• Spoke up when friends and family blame use victim-blaming language.
• Made the connection between human and animal abuse, and committed to protecting family pets, too.
• Reached out to someone in need to provide support and resources.
• Though about how we’d respond if witness to intimate partner abuse.
• Volunteered our time and talents to help local shelters and organizations.
• Honored the unique barriers faced by LGBTQ survivors.
• Talked to young people about healthy relationships at home, school and places of worship.
• Organized a donation drive for the shelter!
• Supported organizations that support survivors in our community.
• Spoke the names of victims who are no longer with us.
• Read, watched, and listened to stories of survival to understand the issue more.
• Purchased Handmade by Survivors products to support survivor healing and self-sufficiency.
• Learned more about the effects of intimate partner abuse on children.
• And honestly reflected on our own behavior.

Your voice matters. ​Your ideas, words, and actions make a difference. Take a stand against intimate partner abuse this month and every month.

This post is part of our 17 Days/17 Ways campaign to take a stand against intimate partner abuse.

Combine dancing and fitness and hearts for survivors of intimate partner violence and you have a shimmying fun afternoon that gives back! With the sponsorship of Altrusa International of Lexington, the wonderful Zumba community has put together an event they are calling “HUGS” and collecting items needed for survivors as well as donations.

Never tried Zumba before? Here is what their website says about the classes (they sound super fun!): “We take the “work” out of workout, by mixing low-intensity and high-intensity moves for an interval-style, calorie-burning dance fitness party. Once the Latin and World rhythms take over, you’ll see why Zumba® Fitness classes are often called exercise in disguise. Super effective? Check. Super fun? Check and check.”

The event will take place at the Lyric Theater (300 E. 3rd Steet, Lexington) from 3:00 – 5:00pm this Sunday, the 27th. We are so excited to have staff participating and meeting the fun loving Zumba community! Thank you, Altrusa International and Zumba!! We are grateful for your support of strong survivors…we too believe in healthy bodies help in healing!!!

https://www.facebook.com/events/901409179906601/

Did you go to Crave Lexington this year? Did someone direct you where to park and you donated $5? Did you receive a flyer that day, handed to you by a smiling volunteer with our info on it?

Then we need to thank you!! Big time!!

Our Board of Directors, Executive staff, and the bestest volunteer coordinator ever, Helue Shalash, just accepted our proceeds check from Smiley Pete Publishing today at shelter!

And obviously we could barely keep our knees from buckling!

Music that will make a difference in the life of a survivor of intimate partner violence is coming this next Sunday! David McLean of Skinny Devil Music Lab has created something completely original and innovative to Lexington. A music award show for local artists to be highlighted and celebrated so that our Lexington musicians and performers are given the recognition they deserve. The LEXI Music Awards! Last year was the first year for this award show and it has gotten huge accolades from artists and lovers of local music and talent! To keep the energy going and to continue to shine a light on these talented performers, David decided to put on a series of small concerts once a month that would have 4-5 musical acts of varying genres…and that in and of itself would have been wonderful…but he then wanted to benefit a local charity with the proceeds from these concerts. He chose GreenHouse17 to be that charity this year. We have been the receiver of proceeds from over half dozen LEXI Concerts with the artists giving generously of talent and time! What a gift for the survivors of intimate partner abuse that we are able to nurture and care for! David also thought that an outdoor music festival to bring together many artists in a family-friendly event as well as raising funds for charity would be a wonderful idea. And so LEXI Fest Outdoor Music Festival was born!

Next Sunday at Proud Mary BBQ (9079 Old Richmond Road) starting at 4pm, artists of many different genres will take the stage! Showcasing local talent and benefiting the strong survivors of domestic violence that are under our care. We are so very grateful and excited for this event! Tickets are $12 and can be purchased now on-line through the link below. Food and beverages will be available for purchase at Proud Marys. MC-ed by Max Corona of Classic Rock 921 WBVX, this event will feature many of the nominees & award recipients from the LEXI Music Award last February….like Michael Johnathon (best folk and lifetime achievement), Mandy Ray (best female vocal) and Chris Hybridtherapper Ballinger (best hip-hop) and Sydney Paige Cubit (best pop), AllThe Little Pieces (best rock) as well as other stellar artists like Haylee Walters and Chung Yen Twins…and a few surprises! Get your tickets now, grab lawn chairs and a blanket and meet us next Sunday to hear spectacular music for a great cause… working to end domestic violence and nurturing those harmed by it!!

https://www.facebook.com/events/860183750742483/

A night of music performed by Born Cross Eyed and Allman Butter. Two local bands come togetherto raise awareness for our mission by paying tribute to the great music of the Grateful Dead and Allman Brothers.

Saturday, September 26
9 pm
Cosmic Charlies
388 Woodland Ave, Lexington
$12 at the door, with option of $5 additional donation

Many members in the band are parents of young boys and girls now, and it matters when dads in our community take as stand against violence.