As of February 25, more than 30 million views from 90 countries have started the series. It has sparked lots of conversation about intimate partner abuse.
Trigger Warning! These details could be re-traumatizing for survivors of abuse.
Warning Signs
Gabby and Brian’s relationship moved quickly. They both described their meeting as love at first sight. She moved to live nearer to Brian and his family in another state, a common tactic used by abusers to isolate partners from supportive friends and family.
They were engaged after a little more than a year of dating.
Gabby’s dream was to be a van lifer and vlogger, despite Brian telling her she wouldn’t succeed. Determined to live her dream, she got a job at Taco Bell to earn money for renovations to her van in preparation for a cross-country trip.
Brian didn’t like that Gabby’s job pulled her time and attention away from him. His text messages show clear patterns of gaslighting. He even calls her mom to express his concern about her behavior.
He also didn’t like that she had made a new friend, going so far as to steal her wallet to prevent Gabby from going out without him. After starting fights, he would be extra kind and do “sweet things,” to make Gabby feel guilty and blame herself.
Moab 911 Call
About a month after Gabby and Brian began their road trip, a bystander called 911 to report a man was slapping a girl and driving erratically.
The officers pulled them over and spoke with them individually. Brian had locked Gabby out of her van and stolen her keys, and she was trying to get them back. They both had marks from the physical violence, but Gabby told the officers she had used violence first.
After talking with Gabby and Brian, the police officers concluded Brian was the victim of domestic violence despite bodycam footage that captured their conversations of concern. Here are some notable quotes from the recordings:
“The reason they don’t give us discretion on these things is because too many times women who are at risk want to go back to their abuser and then they end up getting worse and worse treatment and then they end up getting killed.”
“Everything she’s saying tells me that she is the primary aggressor.”
“I’m looking at a 110-pound female. She’s not a threat to him.”
The police decided to separate Gabby and Brian for the night instead of making an arrest. Brian was taken to a hotel, and Gabby was told to stay in the van with no contact with each other until morning.
Planning to Escape
Brian murdered Gabby a few weeks later.
Gabby had begun texting with her ex-boyfriend, someone she trusted. Those messages communicated she was planning to leave Brian but feared for her safety. Gabby also sent a text message to her mom saying she might continue the trip on her own without Brian.
After Brian murdered Gabby, investigators believe he used Gabby’s phone to establish his alibi by transferring $700 from her bank account to himself, with the memo “Goodbye Brian, I’ll never ask you for anything again.”
Gabby’s family reported her missing a few days later. That same week, Brian also went missing from his family’s home in Florida. Almost a month passed before Gabby’s body was found at Grand Teton National Park.
A federal arrest warrant for Brian was issued. While on the lam, he committed suicide in a swampy wooded area near his family’s home. A note claiming responsibility for Gabby’s murder was reportedly found with his belongings.
Continuing Conversations
Gabby never realized her dream of being a vlogger. She was only 22 years old when she was murdered by strangulation. We know fleeing or attempting to flee can be the most dangerous time because the abuser is losing control.
The Netflix docuseries offers opportunities to start conversations, especially with young people in your life. This blog post on our website considers common myths and truths and this blog post considers warning signs of abuse.
Are you or someone you know being abused?
We can help develop a safety plan to escape and offer support, advocacy, and other services during the process. Whether you want to talk or are ready to initiate services, we will answer your call 24 hours a day, every day of the year.
