How can you support someone who is being abused? Listen. Believe. Empower. Be informed. 

Learn & Listen

First, remember the abuse they are suffering is rooted in isolation, power, and control. Your role is to help them make their own decisions, not rescue them. Educate yourself on the power and control wheel.  

Believe the stories they tell you. Listen more than you talk. Avoid saying what you would do.  

Safety Plan

Say you are really worried about their safety and ask if they have a safety plan.  

Become familiar with things to consider when making a safety plan. Suggest that they call our 24-hour hotline to speak with an advocate. You can call us, too. We are here to answer questions and help you support your friend or family member. 

Not Just Shelter

Intimate partner abuse programs like ours aren’t just about emergency shelter. Certified Domestic Violence Advocates can help safety plan, help survivors through the emergency protective order process, accompany survivors to court, help with housing, connect them with support groups, plan next steps, or just talk.  

Remember Leaving Isn’t Easy

Always respect your friend or family member’s decision, even if they decide to stay. Sometimes it’s because leaving will be too dangerous right now. 

There are many reasons for not being able to leave – having nowhere to go, fear, financial insecurity, threats to themselves or their children or pets. Leaving the relationship is often the most dangerous time for the survivor.