support group sitting downBlog

Support Groups

Surviving intimate partner abuse is a traumatic experience and it helps to have a safe place to talk about it. 

Support groups offer a safe and caring space so you don’t have to heal alone. You may not have many friends or family you can turn to for support, or maybe you’re having a difficult time trusting or relying on them right now. We know everyone’s story is different, but sometimes sharing with others who have been through similar experiences can offer comfort. 

Some benefits of support groups include the following:  

  • Feeling less lonely or isolated  
  • Talking openly and honestly about feelings  
  • Connecting with others who have shared experiences  
  • Improving coping skills  
  • Staying motivated   
  • Improving hopefulness  
  • Receiving practical feedback  
  • Learning about new resources 

It’s important to note the difference between a support group and group therapy. The term therapy usually means an intervention related to a physical or mental medical diagnosis. Support groups are gatherings of people with shared experiences. Our groups are facilitated by a Certified Domestic Violence Advocate.  


Our Support Groups
 

Most of our groups focus on common survivor experiences, but some focus on specific topics, such as co-parenting or finance matters. Both in-person and online meetings are available. 

You are not alone. It can be a struggle to talk about your story. Join a community of people who have experienced similar life events. You will get through this and you will heal.

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21 Years

Takiyrah’s Story

“It’s not over, but I also know I’m not afraid anymore.”

I was established in Chicago. I had my own childcare facility, condo, and car. I was in college at the time and wasn’t into the whole dating scene.

He was super persistent and very handsome. He just wore me down. It was a typical relationship in the beginning. But there were little red flags.

He was very jealous. I just brushed it off because in the African American community, having a jealous boyfriend is a win. Then he started popping up at my house at 3 in the morning—popping up at my job.

I told him it’s over but found out I was pregnant. He came to my house and said, “You’re stuck with me until the child is 18.”

When I had my daughter, I moved an hour away. It was my first attempt to get away from him. Everything settled, but I began to feel like somebody was watching me.

Then I saw him one day. It was like seeing a ghost. He was living in a building across from mine. He could see my bedroom light and when I came or left.

He started showing up at my apartment. I called the police so many times. I would yell and scream. No one would help, even though my nose is busted and my eyes are black.

By the grace of God, I finally got an EPO and moved to Lexington. On lunch at work, I met this girl who told me about this place. A conversation with a stranger can change your whole life.

I got a call one day at my hotel. It was him. GreenHouse17 moved me to a different hotel and said we have a room at shelter.

They helped me heal physically and mentally. You don’t have to have all the answers. There’s still trauma and pain there. I know that I have a team of people. If I need anything, they will support me and my children. It’s not over, but I also know I’m not afraid anymore.

This is the first time I can tell my story and not cry. I want to show my son that’s not how women are treated. I want my daughter to grow up and recognize red flags. I will not let my children be victims. My strength, my faith, is about breaking the cycle – not just for my family, but for any woman and any woman of color.

This is only part of Takiyrah’s story, in her own words, shared with her permission.

Read the Winter 2022 Issue of Bloom 💜

This is one article from our print newsletter. Follow the link above to read the full issue!

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jake from alltechBlog

Alltech Partnership

“I am grateful Alltech was willing to listen, hear, and create solutions for our organization.”

An exciting partnership with Alltech recently launched to expand nature-based opportunities for survivors of intimate partner abuse. Jake Taylor was hired by Alltech for assignment at our shelter and farm during the next two years. He will be working alongside our staff, with the support of Alltech leadership, to develop a plan for the next phase of the farm.

Recognizing the capriciousness of grants and other funding, we want to assist this vital organization in their efforts to build a more sustainable revenue source through their handmade goods,” said Mrs. Deirdre Lyons, co-founder and director of corporate image, design and construction at Alltech.

Vegetable harvests from the farm offset food costs at the shelter, while revenue from flowers and handmade goods cover production costs, but full operation still relies on grant funding.

Jake is charged with helping to map a plan for long-term sustainability, eventually providing living-wage social enterprise employment for survivors—in a safe, trauma-informed workplace.

Business is my education, but what I’m passionate about is serving others and helping folks in the community. This is the perfect opportunity to marry my experiences and my passion to a position,” shares Jake.

I am grateful Alltech was willing to listen, hear, and create solutions for our organization,” says Darlene Thomas, executive director.

Mrs. Lyons adds, “It is our hope that this unique partnership will ultimately help lead to the life-changing support of more survivors and their families.”

Read the Winter 2022 Issue of Bloom 💜

This is one article from our print newsletter. Follow the link above to read the full issue!

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teen dating violenceBlog

Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month

1 in 3 teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse by someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and the theme is
Talk About It 

Parents, talk about it with your teenagers. Having a conversation about teen dating violence might feel uncomfortable at first, but this is a conversation that matters.  

Quiz

Suggest this quiz from love is respect for a relationship checkup. Discuss these warning signs from a partner.  

Suggested Reading

Does your teenager love to read? Read the book Dreamland by Sarah Dessen together and talk about it.  

Parent Discussion Guide

love is respect also has a great Parent Discussion Guide to talk to your kid about healthy relationships. 

Make sure they know dating abuse is not just physical. Dating abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner. Read about the different types of abuse. 

Share this Number

Share this number – 22522 – and let them know they can text “loveis” to check in with a peer advocate about their relationship. 

We are here for you 24/7.

Call our hotline at 800-544-2022 to speak with a trained advocate.

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anniversary heart kentuckyBlog

Our 17th Anniversary 💜

It’s our 17th anniversary! Federal designation officially naming our organization a nonprofit entity arrived on February 14, 2005. 

Services had begun a year from the old YWCA property, while earlier while matters of governance and partnerships were addressed. Darlene, our executive director, reflects on the night when the decision was made to move to our current location.

“I stood at the back door of an empty building on 40-acres of rural farmland in central Kentucky.  The grass and trees seemed to glow in the golden light of the setting sun. Feelings of safety and possibility warmed my soul as the sun lowered in the sky. 

Although a move was imminent, I was struggling with the decision to relocate our organization so far from downtown Lexington, Kentucky. How will survivors stay connected with community service organizations in the city? Can we engage supporters of the mission from this country location?

I imagined a small group of survivors sitting on the back porch and sharing their stories as day peacefully transitioned to night. This sunset was giving me answers to questions I had been asking for weeks. Before the light dipped below the horizon, the decision was made. This building would become our new home.” 

Although much has changed in the years since the move to our current beautiful 40-acre property in rural Fayette County, hope and possibility continue to inform our mission. 

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Follow the link above for more anniversary stories.

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anniversary heart kentuckyBlog

Looking back on 17 Years

It’s our anniversary! Federal designation officially naming our organization a nonprofit entity arrived on February 14, 2005. Today we’re looking back on the past 17 years and recommitting to our mission until the violence ends.

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Follow the link above for more anniversary stories.

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anniversary heart kentuckyBlog

Anniversary Reflections on the Farm

It’s our 17th anniversary! Federal designation officially naming our organization a nonprofit entity arrived on February 14, 2005. We interviewed Darlene Thomas, our executive director, for her reflections on the farm’s history through years.

“While settling into the new shelter 17 years ago, we began to consider how to integrate the land with services for survivors. Maybe equine therapy or a herd of sheep? Although these options weren’t a good fit, early dialogues confirmed the land must complement existing traditional services for survivors.

Local and national conversations were beginning to explore topics related to food deserts, local food production, and social entrepreneurship. We convened community experts to discuss how our land could be used to address these issues.The commitment of staff and resources to achieve this integration would be substantial, so we started small with only a few box gardens of seasonal herbs and vegetables for meal prep in shelter.

We honed our gardening skills and observed interest in the effort over the next two seasons. Consultations with arborists and farmers informed our land use plan, and local garden clubs provided native cuttings and seeds for planting. A generous grant from Grow Appalachia allowed us to hire a Farm Advocate to manage the farm and programming. This early financial commitment allowed us to leverage additional support from United Way, Kentucky Utilities, and Toyota Motor Manufacturing, Kentucky.”

Listening & Responding

We thought vegetable production would be our primary focus, but the community inspired a new unexpected direction for the farm.

“A few years ago, survivors and staff had planted a small garden of flowers. Kentucky Proud admired the flowers during a visit to the farm and asked if we might put together some small table bouquets for their kick-off breakfast at the State Fair.

Soon after that event, calls and emails requesting bouquets of our flowers for centerpieces overwhelmed us. The expansion of our flower production became a priority. Around this same time, individuals and private foundations stepped in to fund the renovation of an outbuilding on the back of our farm program for much-needed space to fulfill flower orders and facilitate workshops for survivors.

John Paul and Eloise DeJoria, with friends from JP’s Peace, Love & Happiness Foundation, visited the farm to learn more about our program. That visit inspired a generous donation to begin renovation of the outbuilding. Don and Mira Ball provided additional generous support to complete the project.

Special attention was given to the renovation to meet certified commercial kitchen requirements. Today, this building is the hub for production of value-added products from the farm, including lip balms, soaps, other Handmade By Survivors products.”

Promising Results

A federal grant awarded to the University of Kentucky Center for Research on Violence Against Women to conduct multi-year research on the farm’s effectiveness recently concluded. Publication of the research outcomes is expected soon.

“Stories and statistics tell us the farm-based programs we have developed are effective. Those few early box gardens have grown to almost 7,000 square feet of cultivated land, and approximately 60% of shelter residents directly participate in at least one nature-based program during their stay with us. But I believe all survivors living at our shelter benefit from indirect engagement with the farm. Even just sitting on the porch watching the sunset or listening to the rain can make a difference.”

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Follow the link above for more anniversary stories.

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valentine's day giftBlog

Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas! 💜

Celebrate love and healthy relationships on Valentine’s Day with Handmade by Survivors products!

Hope Box makes a special Valentine’s Day gift for a partner, friend, or yourself. Products are packaged in a cute printed box, signed by the survivors that helped make them. It includes a lip balm, bar of soap, tin of bath salts, and a soy wax candle.  

The Hope Box ships free to any address across the nation. 🎉 Let us know if you’d like to include a short note for your special someone. We’ll handwrite your message on a gift card for no additional charge. 

More Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

Send a Lip Balm Sampler to your friends to celebrate them on Valentine’s Day! They’ll love the natural ingredients and sassy names of our lip balms: Don’t tell me to smile, Dissent, Zest for Rights, Concinnt, and Reclaim Calm. 

Encourage your friend or partner to take time for a little self-care during the Valentine’s Day weekend with the gift of a Bath Salt Sampler. Blends of Himalayan pink salt, Epsom salts, and essential oils soothe body and spirit. 

A hand-poured soy wax candle with natural essential oil fragrance always makes a perfect gift. Our Candle Super Sampler includes plenty of candles to share with friends and loved ones on Valentine’s Day. 

Every purchase supports survivors 

Your purchase of Handmade by Survivors products will support victims of intimate partner abuse as they establish safety and heal from the physical and emotional wounds of abuse. 

Making products has a special connection to our mission. The process provides collaborative work and microenterprise experience for survivors, while also generating resources for our organization. 

Our products are Kentucky Proud. 

 

Shop Now 🛒

Use coupon code LOVE17 to save 10% on your order!

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snowy farmBlog

Winter on the Farm

Many of the pictures you see of our farm are filled with blooming flowers in the spring and summer months, but have you wondered what goes on when the temperatures start dropping? Winter on the farm is beautiful and busy! 

Production on the farm stopped at the end of October 2021. The farm team – Christina and Hattie, along with some volunteers – cleared out all of the annual flower beds. They physically removed every stem by hand (!) and mowed the beds down. They also ordered all the flower seeds, vegetable seeds, compost, and tools needed for this upcoming season.    

At the end of the growing season, cover crop was applied to help restore soil health in beds that had been worked throughout the year. Newly-formed beds were covered with landscape fabric to kill grass and weeds and ensure that the soil is protected from erosion and retains carbon.  

In November, they dug up the dahlias to store in crates and save until winter is over. They look like sweet potatoes!

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They also planted bulbs! Anemone and ranunculus, two spring favorites, were planted both in the field and in one of the high tunnels. Garlic was planted, too, and covered with straw for a big harvest in July.  

The high tunnels were cleaned out and repaired, replacing some of the old plastic siding.

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This month farm staff seeded 14 trays – including yarrow, snapdragons, mountain mint, bupleurum, statice, rudbeckia, and dianthus.

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The main focus now is planning and mapping the farm to figure out where everything will be planted. 

Keep up with the farm!

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