Healing

Walking into shelter for the first time can be a very scary experience.

Although every survivor’s journey after fleeing abuse is unique, our shelter services are designed around three phases of shelter life — Welcoming, Healing, and Launching. This is part two of a 3-part blog series that explores common activities during each phase.   

Healing 

“When clients first come in, they work on immediate safety goals – getting all their documents and making sure they have everything they need to basically start a new life,” says advocate Alyssa. 

“When they get to Healing, we work on long-term goals like employment, counseling, housing, legal advocacy, and setting up referrals to the community so they have support systems.” 

Advocate Kristen adds, “And also the emotional aspect of processing what brought you here. After you’re safe and have time to rest, all these feelings and realizations start coming out about your past trauma and we’re here to talk about that and find outlets that work best to regain self-sufficiency.” 

First Meeting 

During the first meeting with their Healing Advocate, survivors discuss their long-term goals during the remainder of their stay at shelter such as finding a job, housing, and transportation.  

Healing Advocates also talk through the survivor’s history and help them process their trauma. 

“We’re listeners and keepers of their stories while we work towards safety for their families,” says Alyssa. 

After the initial meeting, survivors and Healing Advocates meet at least twice a week to work towards their goals. 

Goals 

An important part of the Healing phase is making sure people are connected with support systems in their community like Legal Aid of the Bluegrass and the Children’s Safe Exchange and Visitation program.  

Every survivor’s healing journey is different, but common goals include reaching financial independence, going back to school, working out schedules for their children, and finding a therapist. 

What’s Next? 

When survivors are ready to begin their transition out of shelter, they move on to phase 3 – Launching.

 
“There’s something very healing about making something with your hands.” 

Making art can help survivors of intimate partner abuse find their own path to healing. That’s why advocate Kristen hosts a weekly art group.  

Like the nature-based healing approach of our farm, artmaking improves feelings of well-being and self-worth. Making art with other survivors encourages connection, reducing the frequent feelings of isolation some survivors experience.  

“It’s so awesome to see survivors change their perception of the world through art,” says Kristen.  

Kristen has introduced more artmaking experiences this year thanks to the Art Meets Activism grant through the Kentucky Foundation for Women.  

The generous grant supported training for her to become a certified facilitator of trauma-informed art workshops, while also providing funds for materials, equipment, and offsite artmaking experiences for survivors.  

“We’re exploring different mediums and ways to express trauma, emotions, and using it as a tool to rediscover oneself,” she shares.

Sometimes you’ll hear empowered singing and song playing echo down the halls of our emergency shelter.  

Healing through music is helpful for many people who have experienced trauma. Advocate Morgan hosts weekly ukulele sessions for survivors at shelter called, “Uke Can Do It.” It provides a safe space for survivors to express, process, and take back their power.

Morgan’s Background 

Morgan has always loved music and participated in choir from 4th grade through college at Morehead State. She was even a part of the choir that won the 2014 Mayo International Choral Festival in Ireland! 

While Morgan was working towards a music therapy degree at UK, she had a family violence class where Diane, our associate director, spoke. The talk really stuck with her and she switched her degree to a masters in social work.  

Her 2020 practicum was here at the shelter and she was hired as an advocate after she finished school. Morgan recently took a new position as the Children’s Advocate but is excited to keep doing the ukulele class for adults at shelter.  

Uke Can Do It 

Morgan enjoys picking out the songs she teaches to survivors. She looks at not only the song’s impact but also the message of the artist. In a recent class, the song learned was Elton John’s I’m Still Standing. Morgan and her mom recently went to the Elton John concert and she was inspired. 

At the end of each session, she saves time for lyric analysis.  

“Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did?
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
And I’m still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind”

The prompt to get a conversation started was, “For the people in your life who doubted you, what would you say to them?” 

Morgan says residents leave her sessions with a feeling of accomplishment. They learn so many things at once – chords, finger placements, reading music. She reminds them how much they accomplished in an hour, think of what you can do with a whole day! 

She also makes sure survivors know they don’t have to play. They can just listen and join in on the conversation if they want. Morgan often brings in her drums, tambourines, and shakers for those who aren’t yet comfortable learning a tune on the ukulele.  

Surviving intimate partner abuse is a traumatic experience and it helps to have a safe place to talk about it. 

Support groups offer a safe and caring space so you don’t have to heal alone. You may not have many friends or family you can turn to for support, or maybe you’re having a difficult time trusting or relying on them right now. We know everyone’s story is different, but sometimes sharing with others who have been through similar experiences can offer comfort. 

Some benefits of support groups include the following:  

• Feeling less lonely or isolated  
• Talking openly and honestly about feelings  
• Connecting with others who have shared experiences  
• Improving coping skills  
• Staying motivated   
• Improving hopefulness  
• Receiving practical feedback  
• Learning about new resources 

It’s important to note the difference between a support group and group therapy. The term therapy usually means an intervention related to a physical or mental medical diagnosis. Support groups are gatherings of people with shared experiences. Our groups are facilitated by a Certified Domestic Violence Advocate.  

Our Support Groups 

Most of our groups focus on common survivor experiences, but some focus on specific topics, such as co-parenting or finance matters. Both in-person and online meetings are available. 

You are not alone. It can be a struggle to talk about your story. Join a community of people who have experienced similar life events. You will get through this and you will heal.