tania and her two girls standing in front of a tree making hearts with their hands21 Years

Tania’s Story

September 26, 2024By

“We believe this is the only person that is going to save us when they are the person that is ruining us.”

I realized that’s why I got targeted, because they look for people that are merciless to themselves. The strong woman that I am would never have allowed that to happen.

But it’s not about strength. It’s not about knowledge. It’s not about being intelligent or unintelligent.

This person strips everything from you. It does not happen overnight. It is a process. By the time they get you to your most vulnerable, you are alone, because they’ve made sure of that.

Even if you want help, even if you have people in your life, you don’t know how to articulate to these people that you need help. You’re worried about this person hurting your family, hurting people that you care about.

I made a choice to get out. It doesn’t matter when you make that choice. It doesn’t matter why you make that choice. Whatever gets you out of that situation. That’s all that matters.

There were times in the shelter I was a hot mess, but you all saw more in me. That’s what you need. You need people around you that see something great. It was me saying I was worthy of that.

I want my daughters to see that there is better in life, and they don’t have to go down my path. They can go a different way because they are worthy.

That’s why I call them my princesses because I want them to know that they are royalty. It doesn’t matter where they grow up or if we have a lot of money. Your heart and your mind are what matters.

This is only part of Tania’s story, in her own words, shared with permission.

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Volunteer

September 26, 2024By

Volunteer with us!

We’re grateful for the time and talent every person, group, and company gives. The efforts of volunteers expand our capacity to foster safety and healing for survivors of intimate partner abuse.

Opportunities to help at our emergency shelter and farm are offered monthly. Examples of shelter volunteering include sorting, organizing, cleaning, landscaping, and more. Examples of farm volunteering include weeding, planting, harvesting, pest mitigation, and more.

Individuals and groups can also give through remote projects that collect much-needed goods and remind survivors that our community cares about their well-being.

Current volunteer opportunities are listed here. After you book a project, Hallie, our community engagement specialist, will follow up with more details.

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Don’t just read this.

Follow this link for more ways to support survivors and end domestic violence.

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Blog

Advocate in Your Place of Faith

September 26, 2024By

A culture of support and understanding develops when faith groups and leaders talk about intimate partner abuse.

How is faith related to the survivor experience?

Many survivors of intimate partner abuse experience faith as a distinctive element of their identity and personal lives. While faith can be a source of strength and comfort, it is also complex and, when misused or misinterpreted, can complicate a survivor’s situation.

Are there aspects of your specific faith tradition that could complicate a survivor’s experience?

Consider parts of your holy texts related to intimate relationships, gender roles, and marriage. How can you talk about these texts in a way that makes survivors feel safe in their own faith community?

How does your faith tradition support survivors?

Social support is vital in a survivor’s recovery. Are survivors in your religious community made to feel as though they are expected to choose between safety and their religious community or tradition? Are you familiar with KRS 209A, the Kentucky statute that requires professionals in a variety of sectors, including faith leaders, to provide resources and referrals for suspected victims of domestic violence?

How does your community of faith hold abusers accountable?

How do the clergy and lay leaders in your community hold perpetrators accountable when they are identified by survivors? Does your faith response further isolate the survivor?

Does your faith community demonstrate commitment to ending intimate partner abuse?

Do groups or missions in your faith community provide assistance, such as food or clothing, to local shelters? Do you collaborate with other faith-based organizations or secular programs to address the issue? Including our 24-hour crisis hotline number in your weekly bulletin is an easy first step. That number is 800-544-2022.

What resources specific to faith and domestic violence are available?

Don’t just read this.

Follow this link for more ways to support survivors and end domestic violence.

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Advocate in the Workplace

September 26, 2024By

44% of US adults say they have experienced the effects of intimate partner abuse at work.

Intimate partner abuse affects every part of a survivor’s life, including at work. Abusers often sabotage a survivor’s work-life as a control tactic. 

As an employer, what can you do to support survivors?  

If an employee starts suddenly missing days of work, or coming in late, not being able to concentrate, or shows signs of physical abuse – how are you going to respond? Do you have workplace policies and procedures in place?  

It’s Time Lexington has a great toolkit for employers here.

Legal Obligations 

KRS 209A require health, school, faith, law, social, and other professionals to provide resources and referrals for suspected victims of domestic violence in Kentucky. 

If you have professional interaction with someone you believe to be a victim of domestic violence, dating violence, or abuse, you must give the person educational materials related to the abuse. This information must include how the victim may access domestic violence programs and protective orders. 

Click here for resources and here to schedule a training at your workplace. 

As a coworker, what can you do to advocate for survivors? 

Ask if your workplace has a policy on intimate partner abuse. If they don’t, share this resource from It’s Time Lexington with your company.

You can help make your workplace a safe place for survivors to reach for help. We encourage you to hang these tear-off flyers somewhere in your workplace that have our 24/7 hotline number.

Create a Safe Workspace

If you have a conversation with someone you suspect is being abused:  

  • Communicate your concerns for safety. It’s important to ask what changes could be made to make them feel safer. 
  • Tell the employee that you believe them. Listening, listening, listening, is really important. 
  • Refer the employee to a local domestic violence support agency with trained staff. You can call our crisis hotline, too, to ask for help with supporting an employee. 800.544.2022 
  • Be clear that your role is to try to help and not to judge. Don’t belittle or criticize the reasons a survivor stays or returns to the abuser. 
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Blog

Talk to Young People

September 26, 2024By

1 in 3 teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse by someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults.

Having conversations now can help young people in your life identify red flags when it’s time to start dating. Share and model what a healthy relationship looks like – talk about respect, equality, safety, and trust.

Make sure they know dating abuse is not just physical. Dating abuse is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner. Read about the different types of abuse. 

love is respect

A project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, love is respect offers lots of good resources.

The Parent Discussion Guide includes conversation starters about healthy relationships, including the essential elements of respect, communication, trust, boundaries, honesty, and equality.

This online quiz can help a young person in your life answer the question, “Is your relationship healthy?” And teens and tweens can text “love is” to 22522 to check in with a peer advocate about their relationship. 

How about you?

We want to be good role models. That can sometimes mean un-learning behaviors that helped us cope and survive. Taking a close look at our own behavior can help our children see and understand healthier strategies. Parenthood offers a constant reminder that we are still growing and changing, too.

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Ask Yourself Honestly

September 26, 2024By

Is your behavior truly violence free?

Healthy relationships require self-awareness. That means you want to find ways to express how you’re feeling, practice active listening, and work together to find solutions — even when you disagree. By practicing healthier relationship habits and modeling them for others, you contribute to ending intimate partner abuse.

Is your behavior in family relationships, at the workplace, and in friendships free from emotional, verbal, and physical aggression? Honestly ask yourself if you occasionally exhibit these behaviors:

  • Embarrass or make fun of your partner in front of your friends or family?
  • Minimize your partner’s accomplishments or goals?
  • Manipulate your partner to make the decision you want them to make?
  • Call, text, or email your partner several times a day to check up rather than check in?
  • Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things to your partner?
  • Blame your partner for how you feel or act?
  • Prevent your partner from spending time with family or friends?
  • Verbally or emotionally manipulated someone to get even or gain power?

Healthy relationships take time and energy. Leading a violence-free life requires discipline and often requires us to recognize unhealthy learned behaviors. The only way to have a healthy relationship is to work at it, and working at it takes practice.

Don’t just read this.

Follow this link for more ways to support survivors and end domestic violence.

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rainbow over shelter LGBTQIAAnnual Report

Crime Victims Fund Stabilization Act

September 10, 2024By

Information, images, and links in this post were developed by National Network to End Domestic Violence and ZeroV, Kentucky’s coalition of domestic violence programs.

Your voice to support the Crime Victims Fund Stabilization Act is critically important! Victim safety and healing are on the line.

Funding for victim services is still in jeopardy, which could endanger victims if Congress doesn’t act now. The Crime Victims Fund Stabilization Act offers solutions.

The Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) has suffered critical reductions for the past five years. Recent support from the KY General Assembly has been a tremendous help while we navigate the funding cuts. The Crime Victims Fund (CVF) Stabilization Act offers a permanent fix.

VOCA is the primary source of federal grant funding for victim services, including services for survivors of domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, stalking, trafficking, attempted homicide, drunk/drug-impaired driving, and other crimes. Every year, Congress decides how much money to release from the CVF as part of the annual appropriations process.

Neither VOCA or the CVF Stabilization Act is tax-payer funded.

The CVF Stabilization Act temporarily deposits leftover receipts, after whistleblowers have been paid and the federal government has been made whole, from False Claims Act actions into the Crime Victims Fund.

Email or call your Members of Congress to urge them to cosponsor and pass the CVF Stabilization Act. ZeroV, Kentucky’s coalition of domestic violence programs, has made the process easy. Follow this link to take action!

Together, we can protect services for Kentucky survivors. And help domestic violence programs, rape crisis centers, child advocacy centers, and other victim service organizations keep their doors open.

Email Your Members of Congress

Follow the link above to send an email urging support for the Crime Victims Fund Stabilization Act.

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paige swope standing in front of shelter doorsAnnual Report

A Clean Start

August 5, 2024By

“I endured every form of abuse from a partner for several years.”

Paige Swope holds the Ms. Kentucky Festivals 2023 title, and her platform is awareness for intimate partner abuse.

“I endured every form of abuse from a partner for several years,” she shares. “Women, and especially children, who are suffering through a domestic violence relationship lay heavy on my heart.”

Paige began her support for our organization during this year’s Shop & Share event in February. “It brought tears to my eyes seeing how much support the community was giving.”

The experience inspired Paige to do more. She recently organized an online donation drive for self-care items to support survivors and their children living at the shelter.

“There were many times I went days without brushing my teeth, combing my hair, or showering,” she remembers. “I want women and children to never have to worry about having access to basic hygiene necessities.”

“It took me years to physically and mentally heal from the abuse I endured, and now that I am free, I want nothing more than to be able to give back and contribute to such an important organization.”

Read the Summer 2024 Issue of Bloom

This is one article from our print newsletter. Follow the link above to read the full issue!

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attendees in photo boothAnnual Report

AAWD & UK College of Dentistry Partnership

July 29, 2024By

Dental health matters to the physical and emotional well-being of survivors.

Many have been denied medical care and suffered tooth trauma before fleeing the abuser.

For nearly two decades, a partnership with the American Association of Women Dentists (AAWD) at the University of Kentucky College of Dentistry has responded to the need.

Seven survivors are currently receiving dental care and treatment from the university’s Student Dental Clinic.

AAWD members organize an annual fundraiser to replenish the survivor dental fund. This year’s event, Strut Your Smile, included a fashion show and silent auction.

“We get to fundraise, and then see them as a patient,” shares Ciara Sandefur, past president of the university’s AAWD chapter and Strut Your Smile committee member. “I think that is so cool.”

One survivor who received dental care and treatment through the AAWD partnership shares, “It’s given me my life back. I’m able to smile. I’m able to laugh again. I’ve had people tell me, ‘You’ve got a beautiful smile.’”

Read the Summer 2024 Issue of Bloom

This is one article from our print newsletter. Follow the link above to read the full issue!

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darlene and pearse lyons foundationAnnual Report

Thank You Pearse Lyons ACE Foundation!

July 22, 2024By

Dr. Pearse Lyons founded Alltech with the vision of sustaining and nourishing the world’s plants, animals, and people.

A recent $100,000 donation from the Pearse Lyons ACE Foundation to support our mission echoes this commitment.

The generous gift, made possible by the success of the second annual Alltech Make a Difference Golf Scramble, expands on previous investments in our small farm.

“A contribution to GreenHouse17 creates a home for healing and regeneration, as well as the ability to serve thousands of survivors each year through legal advocacy, affordable housing assistance, children’s safe exchange and visitation, and countless other services,” said Deirdre Lyons, Alltech’s co-founder and director of corporate image, design and construction.

“GreenHouse17 saves and transforms lives,” said Dr. Mark Lyons, president and CEO of Alltech. “Our partnership goes beyond the funds we can donate but extends to exchanging ideas around future fundraising opportunities and business outlets that help to further their mission, which we profoundly believe in.”

“We can’t do it alone,” says Darlene Thomas, our executive director. “Ending intimate partner abuse must be a community effort. Alltech’s longtime support for our farm’s goals to foster stability for survivors and generate sustainable revenue for our mission is a testament to the possibilities of partnership.”

Read the Summer 2024 Issue of Bloom

This is one article from our print newsletter. Follow the link above to read the full issue!

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