Shannon standing in hoop houseBlog

Shannon’s Story

March 22, 2024By

“This was someone I let into my heart, my home, and around my son.”

I met this guy who seemed like a southern gentleman, and he made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. It truly seemed like a dream come true.

Until it all changed in the blink of an eye. One night, he was going through my messages on my phone without my consent.

When I asked what he was doing and why, his demeanor and tone changed. He turned into a completely different person.

He gets in my face and says, ‘You need to delete all social media right now. You’re not allowed to talk to anybody.’

I was in shock. I wasn’t sure how to respond and said, ‘You need to pack your stuff and leave.’ I wanted to defuse the situation before it got any worse.

Over the next couple of days, we talked on and off. One moment the conversation would be, ‘I’m so sorry, I’ll change,’ and the next he would say, ‘You’re a whore, you’re a slut.”

It only got worse from there. It started with a property complaint, and two officers showed up.

I got a restraining order. That made him even more mad. He told me to watch out because he had connections that would come after me.

He was also texting my family members and reaching out to my friends on Facebook, saying none of this was his fault. He placed all the blame on me.

He got ahold of my child’s father. They collaborated to file an emergency protective removal order, trying to take my son away from me.

We had to go to court multiple times, and everything got dismissed. The judge ordered my abuser to get help and mandated he take classes.

I still can’t say I feel safe, but it does get better. My chapter ends with my advocates staying by my side and guiding me through all of this.

I hope that my story will help just one person. What scares me the most is the unknown and the thought of this happening to somebody else.

I want to share my story. The more we talk about our experiences and share our stories, the more we get to spread awareness.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out before it’s too late.

This is only part of Shannon’s story, in her own words, shared with permission.

Read the Spring 2024 Issue of Bloom

This is one article from our print newsletter. Follow the link above to read the full issue!

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Cards of Encouragement

March 13, 2024By

A few kind words can make a difficult day feel better. Writing notes of encouragement is a meaningful way to support survivors. 

You can write a couple of cards or a bundle of many cards. This makes for a lovely way for your community, faith, or work group to support the mission. In addition to blank cards with encouraging notes, we also welcome cards for birthdays, Mother’s Day, and other holidays. 

TIPS & IDEAS
  • Use a general salutation: Hello, Hi there, and Dear Survivor are good options.
  • Start with a sentence about why you’re writing the card:  This must be such a difficult time for you, and I wanted to let you know someone cares.
  • You don’t have to write a lot. Just a couple of lines can make a difference. Lean into celebrating the survivor’s strength and courage.
  • Close with a message of hope – maybe something like this: May your tomorrows be safer, brighter, and full of hope and possibilities.
  • Sign with your first name or first + last name, but please don’t include your address or phone number.

General messaging about prayer, faith, and spirituality can be meaningful. But please avoid including specific scripture or the promotion of a specific religion in your cards. Please also ensure your personal or work email, telephone, and mailing address are not included on the cards/envelopes.

FINAL STEP

When your cards are ready, bundle them up and mail to address below or send a note to Hallie to request driving directions to deliver the cards to our shelter. 

GreenHouse17
ATTN: Community Engagement
PO Box 55190
Lexington, KY 40555-5190 

Download the flyer.

Click on the link above to download a flyer to print or share with others.

Photo by Rinck Content Studio on Unsplash

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Valentine’s Day is our Anniversary

February 14, 2024By

Federal designation officially naming our organization a nonprofit entity arrived on February 14, 2005.

We’re celebrating with a series of Valentine’s Day cards that you can share with friends, family, and partners on social media to raise awareness about healthy relationships.

Visit our social media pages to share these cards with someone special. Or just click or tap on an image below to send one today.

💜Facebook   💜Instagram   💜LinkedIn

 

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2023 Farm Wrap Up

February 7, 2024By

This is a special blog contribution written by Hattie Nunley, farm advocate.

It feels like this past growing season went by in the blink of an eye.

frog in zinnia

We saw growth in our farm programming to promote nature-based healing, with over 90 farm-related support group activities offered to survivors. These activities included crafts using dried flowers, healthy cooking workshops using homegrown fruits and vegetables, and trauma-informed yoga beneath our farm pavilion.  

sunflowers in front of hoop houses

Paid work opportunities were also made available to shelter residents once more, with 24 residents earning supplemental income by working on the farm throughout the year. We are so proud to be able to support survivors financially through our farm stipend project and provide a safe, peaceful environment for healing and personal growth.  

peppers

Our farm-to-table dining continued this year, with a wide array of farm-fresh produce used in nutritious meals. Heirloom tomatoes, sweet peppers, zucchini, potatoes, onions, apples, and winter squash were just some of the many fruits and vegetables that found their way into our shelter kitchen to help nourish the families that were with us in 2023.  

caterpillar hanging onto vine

Stay tuned for updates on what we have in store for the 2024 growing season! 

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rccg volunteers holding mlk signBlog

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

January 15, 2024By

Community coming together in honor of Martin Luther King Jr.

Today staff members are attending the annual MLK Holiday Celebration and joining the Freedom March to honor Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy. The program after the march includes keynote speaker Rev. Kevin W. Cosby, Ph.D. and Peabo Bryson performing with youth choral groups Uniting Voices Chicago and Uniting Voices Lexington.  

We’re also excited to welcome back our former AmeriCorps VISTA, Carla, with a group from her church, Redeemed Christian Church of God Open Door Parish. Their Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service includes organizing the supplies in the basement to prepare for our next Shop & Share event in February.  

We are honored to attend the MLK Holiday Celebration and are thankful for all RCCG Open Door Parish has done to support survivors 💜 

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Stalking Awareness Month

January 11, 2024By

January 2024 is the 20th annual National Stalking Awareness Month (NSAM)

Stalking often co-occurs with intimate partner violence and can be an indicator of other forms of violence.  

All stalkers can be dangerous. Intimate partner stalkers, compared to acquaintance and stranger stalkers, are more likely to threaten and physically assault the victim and their friends and family.  

Did you know stalking can include these behaviors?  

  • Repeated phone calls, texts, or communication on your social media  
  • Sending unwanted gifts to your home or work  
  • Threatening you or your loved ones  
  • Following you or watching you from a distance  
  • Digital harassment, such as tracking your location through an app or showing up at a place you’ve checked into online  

Learn more about the crime and ways to plan for your safety:  

National Day of Action for Stalking Awareness 

SPARC is launching the first National Day of Action for Stalking Awareness on January 18th.  

On January 18, 2003 Peggy Klinke was murdered by her stalker, her ex-boyfriend. 

Learn more about Peggy’s story here. [Trigger warning: The video talks about stalking, murder, and includes clips of Peggy’s 911 call] 

“Peggy had a sparkling personality and would light up a room. As the stalking continued and continued, we saw that shine fade.” – Debbie Riddle, Stalking Activist, Peggy’s sister, and founder of National Stalking Awareness Month

SPARC is bringing back the sparkle on the anniversary of Peggy’s murder and you can help spread awareness.  

On January 18th

  • Post a photo on social media wearing sparkly or shiny clothing or pose in front of sparkly decor
  • Tag SPARC – @followuslegally on Facebook and Instagram
  • Use the hashtags #SparkleAgainstStalking #NSAM2024 #NSAMDayofAction 

Learn more.

Visit SPARC's website.

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Jean Sabharwal Award

January 11, 2024By

Bluegrass Families First is presenting our executive director, Darlene Thomas, with the 2024 Jean Sabharwal Award!

This award recognizes those who have demonstrated passionate advocacy for Lexington’s children and families. Tickets are on sale now for the award luncheon presented by Republic Bank. 

March 8, 2024
11:30 AM
The Kentucky Castle 

From Bluegrass Families First 

Since December 2004, Darlene has served as founder/Executive Director for GreenHouse17.  GreenHouse17, serving 17 central Kentucky counties, is an advocacy agency committed to ending intimate partner abuse and its impact on families and the community.  In her 33-year career as an advocate for survivors of power based violence and their families she has been responsible for direct service, comprehensive program development, and community engagement for social change efforts.  

Ms. Thomas provides leadership for multiple community collaborations and committees; provides expert testimony on legal cases; facilitates professional development training for local, state, national and international forums, and provides consultation for organizations who are seeking strategies to reimagine their services.  

Under her leadership, GreenHouse17 programs and services have received statewide and national awards for Innovation including: Commerce Lexington Nonprofit Community Impact Award, National ‘Shelter of the Year’ Purple Ribbon Award, Theresa Mary Byron Foundation Celebrating Solutions Award, the Kentucky Non Profit Network Innovative Award, the Center for Non Profit Excellency Pyramid Award for Social Innovation and was a Partnership for Freedom/Reimagine Opportunity national finalist.  She currently serves as Past-President and Legislative Chair for the ZeroV,  Kentucky’s domestic violence coalition. 

About Jean Sabharwal 

The Jean Sabharwal Award was inaugurated in February of 2014 during an event held to honor the founding partners of the Family Care Center. The award was presented to Jean Sabharwal, founding director of the Family Care Center. Ms. Sabharwal is a remarkable pioneer whose many years of dedication and advocacy have resulted in brighter futures and better lives for families and young children. 

The award was established by Bluegrass Families First to annually recognize an individual or group who has demonstrated passionate advocacy for Lexington’s children and families. The spirit of this award is fittingly expressed through a beautiful stained glass piece by Lexington artist Dan Barnes.

 

Senate Resolution 

Kentucky Senator Reginald Thomas introduced a resolution to recognize Darlene Thomas for receiving Jean Sabharwal Award from Bluegrass Families First. The Congressional Record of the 2024 Regular Session will commemorate the honor on the date of the award luncheon. 

 

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Children’s Safe Exchange and Visitation Expansion

November 13, 2023By

Children’s safe exchange and visitation services reduce risks for violence while encouraging safety, healing, and healthy parent-child connection.

Community members gathered on November 10th to support the launch of children’s safe exchange and visitation services for residents of Boyle, Garrard, Lincoln, and Mercer counties. Grace Church provides space for services in the children’s wing of their facility in Danville.  

“As a church, we are committed to helping the families and children of our community flourish,” says Director of Ministries Kevin Dilbeck. “We are excited to open some of our space to help meet this need.” 

More than 400 petitions for orders of protection are filed in the region each year. Escalation of violence is common when victims separate from abusive partners, and many survivors and their children risk harm while fulfilling custody agreements.  

When visitation between child(ren) and the non-custodial parent/guardian must be supervised, for example by court order, a specially trained monitor is present to document observations during the visitation. Safe exchanges oversee the transition of child(ren) between parents/ guardians if off-site visitation is allowed. 

No contact occurs between custodial and non-custodial parties during visitations or exchanges. Up to 30 weekly visitations and exchanges will be facilitated when the program reaches operational capacity.  

Shannon Weer coordinates the newest location. Shannon is a former professor in the criminal justice department at Eastern Kentucky University, where she taught domestic violence issues. 

“We provide a space for families where children are kept safe,” Shannon says. 

We commit to prioritizing the safety of children and adults; honoring the nature, dynamics, and impact of intimate partner abuse; and treating participants with fairness and respect. 

Learn more about the program, sign up, and review the FAQs here.

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Alpha Chi Omega Supports Survivors

November 6, 2023By

Educating campus communities is essential to ending intimate partner abuse. 

Ending intimate partner abuse is the national philanthropic focus of Alpha Chi Omega, and members of the University of Kentucky chapter embrace the mission with passion and creativity.  

Educating campus communities is essential to ending intimate partner abuse. Most people report experiencing abuse for the first time between the ages of 18 and 24.  

Katie Smith, Vice President of Philanthropy says, “Alpha Chi Omega works to spread awareness about domestic violence through various fundraising and informative initiatives. We are diligent in our efforts to cultivate a safe and supportive environment within our chapter and on our campus.” 

One of their annual tabling events is ‘Donut Let Love Hurt’ during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, where they pass out information, have students share their green flags in relationships, and of course, donuts.  

The UK chapter of Alpha Chi started in 2016 and their annual fundraising events, Paint Wars and the Derby for Domestic Violence Awareness Gala, have already raised over $100,000 for our mission. 

They also volunteer for our annual Shop & Share event where they take over the Euclid Kroger location, securing many donations for our emergency shelter. 

We are so grateful for Alpha Chi and look forward to many more years of collaboration in creating a safer, more aware, and compassionate community for all. 

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