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Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day

January 17, 2022By

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.”

As we honor and celebrate the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr, these words written by him decades ago continue to inspire and make a meaningful connection to our mission. 

“I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality, and freedom for their spirits.”

His words call us to personal and social action that acknowledges racism and prejudice persist in our lives, community, and nation.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”

We are reminded that freedom of spirit is tied to every part of our being and that long-term sustainable change is possible.

“We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

As this new year continues to unfold, may we continue to serve and commit to justice with the same peace and compassion of today. Let us remember that to serve is to commit to change — and to change we must heal.

Continue to educate yourself.

Our book recommendation is Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America by Ibram X. Kendi

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I’ll Stand by You

December 8, 2021By

“When in court I can’t act as your attorney, but I’m here for you.”

Survivors of intimate partner abuse often need to navigate the legal system for longer-term orders of protection and matters related to safety, custody, and property. This is where legal advocates come in. While the advocate’s role is to restore agency and explain processes, most importantly they stand beside survivors during one of the scariest days of the healing journey.

For many survivors, the court hearing will be the first time they see the abuser since escaping.

Morgan remembers her day in court like it was yesterday. “I instinctively look left, right, and there he is, and he’s got this look on his face that just sent a chill up my spine.”

Stephanie Love, a legal advocate serving survivors in Clark and Powell counties, says, “When in court I can’t act as your attorney, but I’m here for you. I can make sure you have what you need. I can nudge you to remember something. I can act as an extra barrier between you and the abuser.”

Advocates make sure survivors have a plan for their physical and emotional safety after court. They also provide connections to our support groups and local resources for food, clothing, and other needs.

“We get the survivor in touch with their community, so they aren’t just relying on us,” says Stephanie.“You want to have other relationships in your life. If you’ve just got the one relationship, how healthy are you as an individual? It’s the same with survivors.”

Legal advocacy and support services are made possible with federal grant funding from the Victims of Crime Act (VOCA), non-taxpayer funding generated by fines paid by federal criminals. Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) funding also provides survivors with no-cost attorney services and representation for especially difficult cases. The Kentucky Justice and Public Safety Cabinet administers both funding sources.

YOU DESERVE TO BE SUPPORTED.

800.544.2022

Our 24-hour crisis hotline is answered every day of the year. You will speak to a compassionate Certified Domestic Violence Advocate who wants to support your specific needs.

Together, we can develop a safety plan that meets the specific needs of you and your children. Find emergency shelter with us or a partner shelter. Make plans for one of our legal advocates to accompany you to upcoming court appointments. Share information about nearby support groups.

You might not be ready to leave or want to know more to support a friend. That’s ok. We are here to listen, too. Please call us if you or someone you know is being harmed.

Read the fall issue of Bloom!

This is one article from our print newsletter. Follow the link above to read the full issue!

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Will Smith discusses trauma from intimate partner abuse

November 18, 2021By

Will Smith was interviewed recently about his new memoir, Will.

It caught our attention because he talks about childhood trauma. When he was around 9, he watched his father physically abuse his mother. It left a lasting impact on him. He struggled with considering his father a hero and a good person while hurting someone else he loved.  

“I was probably 9, and I watched my father beat up my mother. And I was too scared to do anything. And just on my young mind, it became imprinted. 

It’s like, what kind of kid stands there and lets somebody hit their mother and they don’t do anything, you know? And that became really the core trauma of my childhood that my personality and my persona became to form around, to be the opposite of that, you know? I was never going to be scared again. 

What was really difficult for me is my father’s my hero. My father’s the greatest person I’ve ever known, and that dichotomy breaks a young mind, you know? It’s like, how do you love somebody who did that? 

That really just became the central core of the wound that I was overcoming throughout my childhood, and then ultimately throughout my life.” 

This leads to one of the myths we discussed recently – intimate partner abuse only affects adults in the household. That’s not true.  

The majority of children in an abusive household will witness the abuse. Studies have shown children who experience intimate partner abuse with their parents exhibit depression, anxiety, learning difficulties, and more.   

They hear the violence and feel scared, too. Every child responds differently but some things are common. Infants may experience failure to thrive or have developmental delays. School children often suffer from depression, anxiety, and digestive illnesses. Teens might show struggles at school and feel responsible for their siblings and abused parent. 

Sometimes survivors stay because they don’t want their children to be homeless or the abuser has threatened to harm the children if they leave. Other times, parents are afraid children could be taken from their care if they expose the abuse. 

**Image from the New York Times

We are committed to safety, healing, and stability for you and your children.

Call us to begin the conversation. We are here for you 24 hours a day. 800.544.2022

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close up of Morgan with flowers around faceBlog

Morgan’s Story

November 11, 2021By

“I am exactly who he told me I couldn‘t be.”

Before my kids and I escaped, I didn’t feel like I had anyone. It was a really low point in my life.

I was seeing a therapist in Lexington, and we came to the realization together that I was in an abusive relationship. At that point, she recommended I reach out to GreenHouse17.

The person on the phone said ‘let’s get you to a shelter.’ I didn’t really feel comfortable doing that, so they gave me the phone number for Kris [advocate]. It was a relief to talk to someone.

I didn’t feel safe meeting her anywhere except my workplace. I brought her in under the guise of a vendor. We found a conference room, and she stayed with me for three hours while I told her my story. Kris was crucial in helping me to escape.

She told me – at this point you’re not leaving, you’re escaping.

I had a small, very tight circle of people who I was able to confide in and trust. I kept in contact with Kris and an attorney, and we got our plan together for my escape.

Initially it was really scary. My sister told me we could live with them for a little while. The day I decided we were leaving, he went to work, and I was acting fairly normal. My sister and brother-in-law pulled up. Within an hour we met with a sheriff’s deputy and got the EPO.

The day at court came. Kris was there. It was crazy and scary, but it was amazing. Everything went in the favor of my kids and me. It’s a long journey. It’s difficult, but you’ll make it, and it’s so worth it. Once you finally take that first breath and realize I’m free for the first time—it’s an indescribable feeling.

My little girl started pre-K and my son is in first grade. We’ve been isolated for years from my family and friends. Now we’re meeting new people and having a blast. I’m now a member of the Attorney General Survivors Council. I’m going to write a book one day. I have no problem sharing my story. I love doing it because I know it’s going to help someone, somewhere—and that’s the goal.

This is only part of Morgan’s story, in her own words, shared with her permission. 

Support Survivors Today

Follow the link above to donate now.

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Heart of Kentucky Steering Committee

November 1, 2021By

The Heart of Kentucky Steering Committee raises awareness & support in Boyle, Garrard, Lincoln, and Mercer counties.

The Heart of Kentucky Steering Committee leads with a spirit of engagement. They formed in February 2019 to build awareness about services to support survivors in the region.

“It has been wonderful to have this committed group supporting our work,” says staff member and Danville resident Mary Trollinger.

Steve Lownds was an inaugural member. He works at Centre College and engaged staff from the school’s Title IX office in awareness projects on campus. “We are excited to continue to bring community members together to spread the word and support survivors,” shares Steve.

The City of Danville has issued proclamations during Domestic Violence Awareness Month the past few years, and the Advocate-Messenger has featured several articles about the mission.

“The steering committee cares about their community and has raised awareness about local services,” says Mary. “You don’t have to travel a long distance to find safety.”

Read the fall issue of Bloom!

This is one article from our print newsletter. Follow the link above to read the full issue!

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Speak My Name

October 25, 2021By

Today we ask you to listen for 42 seconds as we speak these names. Each name is a life taken by domestic homicide, related to intimate partner abuse in Kentucky from September 2020 – August 2021.

Although Domestic Violence Awareness Month is coming to a close, we will nurture lives harmed until the violence ends.

Connie Taylor, 74, Simpson County
Victoria Cunningham, 67, Hardin County
Pamela Renee Anderson, 57, Marion County
Donna G. Lay, 57, Whitley County
Carrie McCord, 56, McCracken County
Melinda Goosby, 46, Jefferson County
Jill Clayton, 40, Rowan County
Carmelita Lashaun Wright, 39, Franklin County
Don Ray Collett, 38, Laurel County
Tiffany Kidwell, 32, Kenton/Boone County
Angela Carey, 30, Butler County
Ashley Rountree, 29, Bullitt County
Ericka Canada, 26, Warren County
Hannah Fuller, 23, Daviess County
Nikkia Cope, 22, McCracken County
Esther Meza, 22, Clark County
Anonymous child, 12 years old

Speak My Name is a project of the Kentucky Coalition Against Domestic Violence. This is not an exhaustive list. Only victims about whom the coalition is aware through media outlets and domestic violence programs.

24-HOUR HOTLINE 800.544.2022

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Alex and daughter Maddy from Maid on Netflix21 Years

We’re watching Maid on Netflix – and you should too.

October 13, 2021By

Educate yourself, bring awareness to intimate partner abuse, and support survivors.

Why is Maid on Netflix important? Because it shows the real struggles survivors go through to leave their abuser and the obstacles they face if they’re able to leave.  

Alex struggles with the label of domestic abuse and says, “I’d hate to take a bed from someone that’s been abused for real.”  

Verbal and emotional abuse is intimate partner abuse! Throwing things and punching near a partner is physical abuse. It’s terrifying. As Alex’s friend Danielle tells her – abuse escalates over time. 

This series is important because it shows how isolated Alex was when she left. She had no job, no money, no childcare, and no friends because her circle is tied in with her abuser.  

There is a stigma about people who have been abused. People may think – Why didn’t she just leave? Why did she go back?  

Maid does an exceptional job at showing the hurdles survivors go through. The gaslighting, promising he will change this time, how scary court can be, and so much more.  

So, we’re watching Maid on Netflix, and you should too. To educate yourself, to bring awareness to intimate partner abuse, and to support survivors.

Have you wondered if your relationship is healthy? Do you have a friend you suspect could be suffering from physical or emotional abuse? Whether you just want to talk or you’re ready to initiate services, we will answer your call 24 hours a day, every day of the year – 800-544-2022. 

Further Reading

Lakeisha Goedluck writes about Maid and her own experiences with intimate partner abuse.

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Advocating in the Workplace

October 5, 2021By

44% of US adults say they have experienced the effects of intimate partner abuse at work.

Intimate partner abuse affects every part of a survivor’s life, including at work. Abusers often sabotage a survivor’s work-life as a control tactic. 

As an employer, what can you do to support survivors?  

If an employee starts suddenly missing days of work, or coming in late, not being able to concentrate, or shows signs of physical abuse – how are you going to respond? Do you have workplace policies and procedures in place?  

If not, visit Workplaces Respond for a model workplace policy and other resources to get a plan in place.

Legal Obligations 

Revisions to KRS 209A effective July 2017 require health, school, faith, law, social, and other professionals to provide resources and referrals for suspected victims of domestic violence in Kentucky. 

If you have professional interaction with someone you believe to be a victim of domestic violence, dating violence, or abuse, you must give the person educational materials related to the abuse. This information must include how the victim may access domestic violence programs and protective orders. 

Click here for resources and here to schedule a training at your workplace. 

As a coworker, what can you do to advocate for survivors? 

See if your workplace has a policy on intimate partner abuse. If they don’t, share this statistic – 44% of US adults say they have experienced the effects of intimate partner abuse at work.

It’s important to have a policy in place for survivors. Share this resource with your company. You can search for resources as a coworker, employer, and advocate. 

Safe Space 

As employers and coworkers, we need to be a safe place for survivors to reach for help. If you have a conversation with someone you suspect is being abused –  

  • Communicate your concerns for the employee’s safety. It’s important to ask what changes could be made to make them feel safer. 
  • Tell the employee that you believe them. Listening, listening, listening, is really important. 
  • Refer the employee to a local domestic violence support agency with trained staff. You can call our crisis hotline, too, to ask for help with supporting an employee. 800.544.2022 
  • Be clear that your role is to try to help and not to judge. Don’t belittle or criticize the reasons a survivor stays or returns to the abuser. 

Read more. Let's make some noise.

This is part of a series for Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

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Purple Ribbon Award for Program of the Year

September 16, 2021By

We have received the Purple Ribbon Award for Program of the Year by Domesticshelters.org. A $10,000 grant to support services for survivors accompanies this national honor.

Theresa’s Fund, DomesticShelters.org and experts in the field launched the Purple Ribbon Awards, the first comprehensive awards program honoring shelters, programs, volunteers, and survivors committed to ending intimate partner abuse.

“We all know it’s not easy work. But helping victims, survivors and their families and the relentless pursuit to end domestic violence is absolutely fulfilling and necessary work.” – Award organizers

Gold medallions were awarded to notable nominees across 28 categories earlier this year. GreenHouse17 also was recognized for Most Innovative Service and Best Annual/Impact Report.

Grant Announcement

More than 650 people from 58 states/provinces and 10 countries attended the awards celebration and announcement of grant winners on September 15. Filmmaker Angela Shelton served as the special guest host for the event. 

“It means so much to be honored by fellow advocates in the mission,” remarked Darlene Thomas, our executive director, after learning of the grant award.” She later reflected on the honor in an email to staff and members of our Board of Directors: “Folks from all over the country sent out a huge congratulations to you, your work, your vision and commitment to survivors.”

Fellow Award Winners

We send our congratulations to these and other inspirational award winners:

SOS violence conjugale
Outstanding Awareness Campaign
Quebec, Canada
$7,500 Grant Recipient

G.R.O.W. Foundation
Survivor of the Year (Neisha Himes)
Chesapeake, VA
$5,000 Grant Recipient

Control Alt Delete
Most Innovative Service
Phoenix, AZ
$2,500 Grant Recipient

Laurens County Safe Home
Shelter Turnaround of the Year
Clinton, SC
$2,500 Grant Recipient

Center of Hope
Shelter Employee of the Year (Rachel Enriquez)
Columbia, TN
$2,500 Grant Recipient

About the organizers

DomesticShelters.org was launched in 2014 by Theresa’s Fund, an Arizona-based organization that has been deeply committed and involved in preventing violence against women since 1992. The website has become one of the fastest-growing websites on the topic of domestic violence.

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ribbon cuttingBlog

Celebrating Three Years of the Children’s Safe Exchange & Visitation Program

August 26, 2021By

Nurturing Young Lives

Three years ago on August 23rd, staff and community partners gathered to launch our Children’s Safe Exchange and Visitation program. Continuation of these vital services was necessary after the closure of Sunflower Kids.

More than 8,000 safe visitations and exchanges have been provided since the ribbon-cutting ceremony. Services are provided from two locations in downtown Lexington and Georgetown.

“Children deserve connection and bonding without worrying about conflict, intimidation, control, and further abuse,” says Darlene Thomas, Executive Director.  

Visitation and monitored exchanges are facilitated without contact between adult parties, keeping program participants safe throughout the process. This is also beneficial to the children so they do not have to potentially witness any intimidation, manipulation, or abuse between parents.  

Thank You 

AU Associates donates the program’s Lexington office space, while Georgetown Police provides in-kind space for services in Scott County.  Partnerships with Lexington Police, Friend of the Court, and Family Court judges also support the program.

Startup funds were provided by LFUCG Department of Social Services, through the Department of Special Grants and Programs.

Primary funding for the program now comes from VOCA – Victims of Crime Act – awarded through the Kentucky Justice and Public Safety Cabinet by the U.S. Department of Justice.

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More Information About the Children's Safe Exchange and Visitation Program

For FAQ or to request an intake for this program, click the link above.

This project was supported by Grant Number VOCA-2020-GreenHouse-00109 awarded through the Kentucky Justice and Public Safety Cabinet by the U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Kentucky Justice and Public Safety Cabinet or the U.S. Department of Justice.

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